Something you love doing causing you pain. Another reason I am starting to focus more on lifting is because my left hip hurts all the time. Just non-stop chronic pain and tightness. As I sit here writing this after an open mat, where I only went 40%, I can feel my left hip start to tighten and throb. Mentally, this makes me protect myself when I roll so I can't go as hard as I would like to go, even if going hard is only 60%. That takes a toll on the old brain meats.
This makes me feel defeated, but it also makes me problem solve. I would like to compete again the second half of this year. This means my training has to change. Cheers to solving my hips problems. Yay, mid-30's, yaaaaaaayyyy.
I've been trying for the life of me to figure out why anxiety is a little higher than normal. Or why I want to hide. Take a week off of work.
Training and owning a gym is a HIGHLY social job, so every time I talk on the phone, hang out, go out, etc, and it involves other people, I am drained beyond belief.
So if you ask to hang out and I say no, yea, it's you. Not you the person. Just you. A person. And me, having to interact with you. Be around you. A person. It has nothing to do with me loving you, or caring about you. If you're in my life I probably care deeply for you.
If you think this is a mean thing to think or say or write. Don't care. I'm sure you've thought or said or have written something similar at one point in your life. And I respect that. Because sometimes you need to be you. And all the you's need personal space the way I need personal space. And that's pretty frickin cool.
So what am I doing this Easter weekend? Not hanging out with you. ;)
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