JESSICA
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • Connect

Kaffedags

Work & Rest

2/12/2019

0 Comments

 
How do you define rest?  I suppose to define rest, we must first define work.  So what is work? Your work, specifically.  If you find absolute joy in your work is it still work? If you don't find joy in your work, is it then simply a job?   Some people define parenthood as work.  Others are insulted that considering your children as work even crossed some minds.  Creatives, which could honestly include anyone but usually those working in the arts, don't typically have a 9-5 work week.  Even if they did, is it work if creativity isn't sparked?

Is work=time?  If so, if I spend less time, but create a great product, did I work hard enough?  Do you define work as a place you go?  Something you are doing?  Are you defined by your work?
Did you know if you type "work" into the Google search bar, Rhianna is your first hit?  I'm not upset by this.
Then there is this article in Entrepreneur, 4 Ways Successful People Balance Work and the Rest of their Lives, which assumes that work and life are separate.  In fairness, the article was written in 2015, and I do believe the landscape of what it means to work has evolved in our current climate.  When I first opened FitPOWER in 2012 my parents were concerned.  In my heart I believe they knew I would succeed.  In fact they don't know this, but the few times my parents pulled my huge "hopes and dreams" balloon down from the clouds, and set my feet firmly on the ground, they were starting the path I would follow.  My parents acted as my personal cartographers by expressing their fears.  What about health care?  What about job security?  What about loyalty to a company?  Start up costs?  Where are you going to live?  Are you sure you want to do this?

I was so sure.  No question in my mind type of sure. 
​ With my feet on the ground, in the year 2008 mind you, I gained experience with a 9-5 type of job.  I worked in the now extinct (I think) Bally Total Fitness.  It was there I learned how to manage books, a team multiple trainers, and met one of my BEST friends.  It was also there that I was reminded once again how much I hated corporate fitness.  Corporate anything.  The work I was doing wasn't for me.  When you worked for Bally's it had to be done their way.  Therefore, it was a job.  I don't enjoy jobs for the sake of doing jobs.  I wanted to work.

DEFINE YOUR WORK

I can't sit here and define what works means for you, but I do know what work is for me.  My definition of work is anything that takes up my mental or physical energy to complete.  It doesn't mean I hate doing it.  Let me give you a break down.  Work is:

  • Programming (barbell or jiu jitsu)
  • Cleaning the gym (vacuuming, mopping, sweeping, window cleaning, folding, etc)
  • Quickbooks
  • Budgeting
  • Meal planning
  • Mailchimp
  • Phone Calls
  • Answering Emails
  • Coaching (barbell or jiu jitsu)
  • Social Media (advertising and marketing)
  • Networking
  • Hanging out during the week
  • Updating my calendar

 Believe it or not, I don't jump for joy every time I get to update my calendar or budget.  Just sometimes.  Google calendar colors are pretty.  However, when you take all of those elements and combine them with running a team of coaches, a team of lifters, and every amazing client that walks through my door.....it is draining.  Because every time someone walks through the door they bring their personalities with them, and we don't stare at walls as we lift.  Well, we do.  Focus points are important.  But those special in between times we are social.  We interact and help each other.  We laugh with each other.  Sometimes at each other.

We are family, and I miss them when I am gone too long.  Every person I have the opportunity to help evolve physically and mentally is my life's work.  Therefore, if I am to be at my best, I need to allow the time and space to recharge, relax, and rest.  

Lets talk about rest, baby....

Picture
Ah....sweet, sweet rest.  A bodily state characterized by minimal functional and metabolic activities.  Freedom from activity or labor.   A state of motionlessness or inactivity.  Peace of mind or spirit.

Once you take the time to define your work, you can better understand your rest.  It will be completely unique.  I have clients who HATE doing meal prep.  I find it very relaxing.  Cooking in general is very relaxing to me.  My boyfriend takes naps daily.  Napping stresses me out and I take roughly 2 naps a year.  I know moms who find being with their children work, and those who find it restful.  Let me share what I need to unwind:
  • Blogging
  • Reading fiction
  • Reading non fiction
  • Lifting
  • Cooking
  • Deep cleaning the living room and front room (only those two rooms I have NO idea why)
  • Decluttering
  • Traveling
  • Vacation Coffee (duh)
  • Silence
  • Podcasts
  • Bingeing on Netflix (currently in a Grey's Anatomy whirlwind....poor George)
  • Sitting with Chris
  • Being at my parents house.
See what I mean?  Rest and work.  Work and rest.  There is no one versus the other.  It's not black and white.  Your work could be my rest, and vice versa.  

SEASONAL WORK & REST

Real quick. Your work and rest lists will change depending on the season.  When I was opening my new location the idea of blogging was work to me.  Right now, making a trip to my jiu jitsu gym is work to me.  I want to unwind and roll and learn at my space.  There are also days and weeks where I NEED to be away from my clients and gym.  I need to recharge.  All of these things are ok, and this is what is changing in the working landscape.  We are taking notice of our work/rest relationships and going with the flow.  This is important for our mental space.  Call it self care.  Call it mental health days.  Whatever you need to call it, promise me you will learn to roll with it.  

​You have permission.
Picture

MAKE YOUR LIST

Time for you to do a little work!  Think of the ebb and flow of your life.  Are you a parent?  Your flow probably looks like a school calendar.  Do you work somewhere with a lot of travel?  When do you travel the most versus slower months?  Whatever it looks like make your work list and your rest list, and then observe how and when it starts to change and evolve.  Do you enjoy gardening to unwind?  Then work comes in the spring, and it may turn to rest in the summer, and then work again in the fall. 

Try it out. 
Find your flow. 
Love your work. 
​Rest your soul.
0 Comments

Boundaries

2/4/2019

0 Comments

 
I am working on a project that I hope to launch by the end of summer.  It is one of three projects that I have given myself the task of doing for the year 2019, and none of the three are linked.  What do these first statements have to do with boundaries?  Not much.   As I dive into this project and my words for 2019 of "growth" and "balance" keep reappearing, I am constantly reminded of my own boundaries.  You see, with these projects come systems that I have to create because I am no longer a party of one.  FitPOWER is now a party of 6.  A very curious, determined, and excited party of six.  With curiousity come questions about how things should be run, and while I can mentally paint this picture of how I want my business to flow, translating it to a neat handout is proving to be more difficult.  But that is why this chapter of my life exists.  Another growth spurt is about to happen, and perhaps I can share a little bit of knowledge from these last soon to be 7 years of business.  Grab a cup of vacation coffee, making sure it's exactly how you like it, no distractions in sight, and enjoy this little blog of Jess insight.
Picture
What does it mean to have a healthy boundary?

A boundary is a space or a line between you and another person, whether it be physical, mental, or emotional.  It is a clear point where you and another person end, and boundaries serve important roles in your own self care.  Healthy boundaries typically include the mental and emotional, and fall somewhere between rigid and loose.  If boundaries become too loose you may find yourself conforming to groups and/or situations too easily.  Too rigid and you may find yourself stuck in a fixed mindset due to a "wall" put up around you. 

It is also suggested that your boundaries, whether healthy, loose, or rigid, directly affect your identity.  When I saw this, something I read from Brene Brown came hurtling back into the front of my mind.  Brene states that many of us seek to belong so badly that we forget to simply be.  I know  when I stopped trying to belong my personal boundaries came into focus.  That moment is when I truly started to grow.
Many of us seek to belong so badly that we forget to simply be."
Picture
Healthy Boundaries, Self Care, and Leadership: A Love Story

I have always been attracted to leadership roles, but I have not always been a good leader.  Boundaries, or lack thereof, played a a large role in the stagnation of my identity.  A friend recently pointed out that we, meaning we as a people, seek the approval of others because we are social entities. My bravado and ego took over for a moment. A "that sounds like a personal problem" type of attitude. But then I was reminded of my own blog about how I sporadically feel like a fraud.  As I gain traction in my business the feeling of  fraud in that specific situation has since faded, but it left a mark. A reminder.  The reason it existed is because I was (and still am) growing as a coach and I knew I was entering into a larger arena with the new gym location, taking other coaches under my wing, and announcing myself as a barbell and jiu jitsu coach with her own academy in a city flooded with talent.  Luckily I have been practicing with a tool I learned about a few years back called BOUNDARIES.  No, there is no special link when you roll your cursor over the word, and invisible lines don't magically appear between you and others.  It's simply a navigation device that has helped me grow relationships, cut ties, and nurture my own sense of being.  Here are a few things I have been practicing to create strong boundaries:

1. My 1"x1" People

I took this out of a chapter by Brene Brown (is it obvious I'm a fan?).  Find a piece of paper (I used an envelope), and create a 1"x1" square.  Now write in their the names of your people. You know. The ones you'd go to battle with.  The one's who's opinions truly matter.  You don't have to share this information with anyone.  It simply exists to remind you of who's opinion you hold valuable.  Yes, you may have to edit your square from time to time, but whenever you start getting unsolicited advice grab this piece of paper and remind yourself who's voice really matters.

2. Airplane Mode

Literally and figuratively.  In the evenings I put my phone on airplane mode so I'm not waken up by texting or phone calls.  Unfortunately I use my phone as an alarm clock, and while I've tried to go the actual alarm clock route, I found myself paranoid that it would not go off for whatever reason.  ​ If you find it hard to get in contact with me on the weekends there's a good reason.  I'm ignoring you. Just kidding! Sort of. After all training is done on Saturdays I try not to talk about work in any capacity.  I love what I do, but I don't want to talk about it when its my turn to unwind.  Some people may not agree, but there is nothing so important that it cannot wait until the work week begins again. 

3. No Means No

I am a pretty firm believer that if you ask me something work related, and I tell you yes or no, I should be able to explain myself and be transparent.  However, in most cases no simply means no.  The problem with saying no isn't always the verbal part.  It's the follow through.  Make sure when you say "no" you understand why.  Your own understanding will make it easier to draw those boundary lines and stick to them.

4. Social Media

This topic is a tough one.  One of my coaches and I had an in depth conversation about social media.  I feel as our political climate heats up it gets easier to make a slip up for the world to see.  When I say "slip up" what I mean is resorting to rude behaviour online that you would never express face to face.  One, this is cowardly, and I hold no space in my gym for attitude of that nature.  Two, it reflects upon you.  If you are wondering if I watch what my clients and coaches say online, the answer is yes.  I watch how you treat other individuals, and I watch how you react to situations.  Now, do I have notifications set up every time someone makes a comment or post. No. That's creepy, and a little too Big Brother.  However, if you are a client or a coach representing my business there is a clear boundary of what I tolerate.  Hateful, ignorant, sexist, misogynist, ableist, homo/trans/xenophobias, racist, etc, comments of any sort are a red flag, and I have no problem cutting ties.
Vulnerability is the feeling we get when we are faced with uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure."

​~Brene Brown
The Leadership Part

While I grow into my new roles my leadership has to evolve, as well.  I have done a lot of reading on the roles of people in leadership and the best teams seem to have a clear, open, safe space to engage in new ideas and express concerns.  This space is free of judgement, unsolicited advise, interrupting, and sharing outside of the group.  This is something I practice in my own home, and in my gym.  In order for these spaces to exist there must be a strong foundation of trust.  Trust comes from being truthful and courageous.  To be courageous is to be vulnerable, and none of these traits display weakness.

Being vulnerable is hard.  I will never tell you otherwise.  Here are a few things I am practicing to become a better leader:
  1. Admitting to and owning my mistakes.
  2. Seeking first to understand before trying to be understood.
  3. Learning what my team needs from me.  What does "support" look like to them.
  4. Sticking to my boundaries.  It's a lifelong practice.  People will try to cross lines.  Even you will try to cross lines. Trust comes from knowing and respecting your boundaries and the boundaries of others.
  5. No white lies.  To myself or to others.  Sometimes a situation can't be made better, and that is ok.
Picture
It's very hard to have ideas.  It's very hard to put yourself out there, it's very hard to be vulnerable, but those people who do that are the dreamers, the thinkers, and the creators.  They are the magic people of the world."
​
~Amy Poehler
References:

Dare to Lead by Brene Brown
Rising Strong by Brene Brown
A Good Time to be a Girl by Helena Morrissey


0 Comments

    Jessica Sunier

    A constantly evolving woman, coach, and entrepreneur.

    Archives

    February 2019
    January 2019
    November 2018
    October 2018

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • Connect