How do you define rest?  I suppose to define rest, we must first define work.  So what is work? Your work, specifically.  If you find absolute joy in your work is it still work? If you don't find joy in your work, is it then simply a job?   Some people define parenthood as work.  Others are insulted that considering your children as work even crossed some minds.  Creatives, which could honestly include anyone but usually those working in the arts, don't typically have a 9-5 work week.  Even if they did, is it work if creativity isn't sparked?

Is work=time?  If so, if I spend less time, but create a great product, did I work hard enough?  Do you define work as a place you go?  Something you are doing?  Are you defined by your work?

Did you know if you type "work" into the Google search bar, Rhianna is your first hit?  I'm not upset by this.

Ah....sweet, sweet rest.  A bodily state characterized by minimal functional and metabolic activities.  Freedom from activity or labor.   A state of motionlessness or inactivity.  Peace of mind or spirit.

Once you take the time to define your work, you can better understand your rest.  It will be completely unique.  I have clients who HATE doing meal prep.  I find it very relaxing.  Cooking in general is very relaxing to me.  My boyfriend takes naps daily.  Napping stresses me out and I take roughly 2 naps a year.  I know moms who find being with their children work, and those who find it restful.  Let me share what I need to unwind:

Real quick. Your work and rest lists will change depending on the season.  When I was opening my new location the idea of blogging was work to me.  Right now, making a trip to my jiu jitsu gym is work to me.  I want to unwind and roll and learn at my space.  There are also days and weeks where I NEED to be away from my clients and gym.  I need to recharge.  All of these things are ok, and this is what is changing in the working landscape.  We are taking notice of our work/rest relationships and going with the flow.  This is important for our mental space.  Call it self care.  Call it mental health days.  Whatever you need to call it, promise me you will learn to roll with it.  

​You have permission.

What does it mean to have a healthy boundary?

A boundary is a space or a line between you and another person, whether it be physical, mental, or emotional.  It is a clear point where you and another person end, and boundaries serve important roles in your own self care.  Healthy boundaries typically include the mental and emotional, and fall somewhere between rigid and loose.  If boundaries become too loose you may find yourself conforming to groups and/or situations too easily.  Too rigid and you may find yourself stuck in a fixed mindset due to a "wall" put up around you. 

It is also suggested that your boundaries, whether healthy, loose, or rigid, directly affect your identity.  When I saw this, something I read from Brene Brown came hurtling back into the front of my mind.  Brene states that many of us seek to belong so badly that we forget to simply be.  I know  when I stopped trying to belong my personal boundaries came into focus.  That moment is when I truly started to grow.

Healthy Boundaries, Self Care, and Leadership: A Love Story

I have always been attracted to leadership roles, but I have not always been a good leader.  Boundaries, or lack thereof, played a a large role in the stagnation of my identity.  A friend recently pointed out that we, meaning we as a people, seek the approval of others because we are social entities. My bravado and ego took over for a moment. A "that sounds like a personal problem" type of attitude. But then I was reminded of my own blog about how I sporadically feel like a fraud.  As I gain traction in my business the feeling of  fraud in that specific situation has since faded, but it left a mark. A reminder.  The reason it existed is because I was (and still am) growing as a coach and I knew I was entering into a larger arena with the new gym location, taking other coaches under my wing, and announcing myself as a barbell and jiu jitsu coach with her own academy in a city flooded with talent.  Luckily I have been practicing with a tool I learned about a few years back called BOUNDARIES.  No, there is no special link when you roll your cursor over the word, and invisible lines don't magically appear between you and others.  It's simply a navigation device that has helped me grow relationships, cut ties, and nurture my own sense of being.  Here are a few things I have been practicing to create strong boundaries:

The Leadership Part

While I grow into my new roles my leadership has to evolve, as well.  I have done a lot of reading on the roles of people in leadership and the best teams seem to have a clear, open, safe space to engage in new ideas and express concerns.  This space is free of judgement, unsolicited advise, interrupting, and sharing outside of the group.  This is something I practice in my own home, and in my gym.  In order for these spaces to exist there must be a strong foundation of trust.  Trust comes from being truthful and courageous.  To be courageous is to be vulnerable, and none of these traits display weakness.

Being vulnerable is hard.  I will never tell you otherwise.  Here are a few things I am practicing to become a better leader: