Admittedly, it has become harder to discover literature of the "self help" genre that gives me that rush of motivation, either because I learned something new about myself, or maybe just learned something new about my world.  I have been doing a lot of learning over the past few years.  More specifically, since the 2016 election.  I didn't get it. How was he elected?  I should add, not that I need to defend my political beliefs, that I consider myself pretty middle of the road.  As a business owner I do understand why someone would vote to protect what they've earned, but as a human who cares for other humans besides herself, I did not understand why someone would vote in a direction that means oppressing another group of people.  Few things make me feel more ignorant or naive than observing people's actions that cause harm unto themselves and others.  Even if the intent to do no harm is there, the impact is what matters, and nothing paints a clearer picture of this scenario than social media.  Social media is the land of screaming toddlers proclaiming their toy/snack/friend is better.  And as we all know, reasoning with a toddler is not practical.  We have entire twitter threads and meme's bringing us comic relief at the bond parents share when their two year old decided "NOT TODAY SATAN"....only you are Satan.  And today is every day.

Then I did about 8 months of consistent dieting.  I got down to my lowest weight of 195lbs.  People told me I looked great.  They didn't know I developed disordered eating patterns, and I didn't know that I had fallen victim to one of our biggest trends which is "diet culture".  My entire self worth revolved around two things: my jiu jitsu wasn't legit unless I was constantly competing and winning, and how much or how little food went into my body.  The universe must have been paying attention because it did two things to me (for the record MY habits did the following, not the universe, but for "woo" sake lets blame it on something else): my business boomed so my health took a leave of absence and because of this I could not train as much and then I got injured.  

I was forced to take a seat.  To shut up and listen.  My ego wasn't pleased, but in that respect, my ego is what drove me into the floor, so maybe it was time to fire my ego.   You can do all the self talk in the world about how you "rid yourself of ego", but it doesn't work like that.  Like all things in life, it is a constant practice and a constant evolution.

​Back to the book...

Sociologist Daniel Pink, author of "Drive" suggests that in order for us to speak to our highest values we must have the following:

1. Autonomy: the desire to have say over what we do.
2. Mastery: the process of getting better at what we do.
3. Purpose: the meaning behind what we do.

If I look into the history of my actions having say over what I do has been a pursuit of mine since my earliest memory.  When it comes to my business I feel it's purpose has always been on track minus the few tweaks I've made this year.  This past year I have turned my back on diet culture.  FitPOWER doesn't really offer weight loss or weight gain as a "plan" anymore, which was hard to turn my back on because that is what sells.  Every where you look you can find some way to try to lose weight.  I see it plastered all over the pages of other gyms, and in my past I would perpetuate this culture.  I now find it sad that so much of my time and energy was focused on changing my body instead of enjoying all that it could now do, regardless of what it weighs.  When I'm focused on my weight I lose my autonomy, because I'm conforming to a societal standard.  When I lift or roll for the joy of movement, my autonomy returns.  I want that for others.

I want people to find peace in themselves.  I want people to practice mastering something for the sake of mastering it.  Not to make a profit off of a skill you are supposed to be enjoying.  And through these things I want people to develop depth to their purpose.  You are allowed to change directions.  You are allowed to expand or contract your purpose depending on the season of life.  Just don't lose focus.

I am on a mission this year.  I am going to enjoy my holidays if it is the last thing I do.  This has been on my mind since October hit, because October is the time when our family celebrations begin.  Birthdays, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Client Appreciation Party, Christmas, and New Years.

I missed nearly all of these last year except for the Client Appreciation Party.  What I mean is physically I was present, but mentally I was diving into one of the biggest business moves of my career to date.  I was even slightly worried all of 2019 that I somehow messed up and 2018 would be my last holiday with those I loved...and I wasn't even "there".

You have heard me talk about my values in previous blogs, and as you know, time is at the top of the list.  I have missed saying goodbye because I misused my time.  My business started because of those lost 20 minutes.  Therefore, I do my best to optimize every minute, and I try to respect the time of others.

Where I spend my time and energy will over rule the almighty dollar.  It is my most valuable form of currency.  When people ask me for my time I weigh if they deserve it, and then I reflect to make sure the time I am asking of others is being reciprocated.

Time is important.

This year I will be present with my families.  I will use my time wisely up until family events, and then the computer shuts down, and I will be present.  Being present is my gift to myself this year.

Thank you for making it through this choppy blog of mismatched thoughts.  I wish you the happiest of holidays. <3

A couple of days ago I heard something interesting on a podcast.  It's related to sleep and the fated F.O.M.O. (fear of missing out).  There are numerous reasons why people have trouble falling asleep at night.  Personally, when I am experiencing trouble it is most likely because I think of all the tasks I still have to do or COULD be doing, instead of winding down.  I say "could" instead of "should" because if I'm honest, the tasks I did not complete have never negatively effected my business.

So what's a woman to do?  Instead of thinking of sleep as the end of a day, view it as preparation for the next day.  Sleep is your first "task", albeit the most enjoyable one by far, and it kicks off all other tasks.  So it also makes it my most important task of my day.  

​Sleep is not the ending.  It is my beginning. <3

My clients and members have allowed me the grace of growing and adapting as a coach and business owner.  This is a loyalty and a mutual respect that cannot be bought.  I hope that I continue to question myself, inspire my coaches to question themselves, and develop a team where every member knows they are cared for and safe.  FitPOWER is where everyone should be allowed an opportunity to question and grow.