Growing up I was a very heavy kid. I have no recollection of ever being small. I’m not saying I was just a tall kid. No. I was an obese child since the age of 10, and classmates, teammates, and coaches never let me forget it. For the record, this is not a sympathy post. Let’s put it into perspective: as a kid, the worst thing I experienced was bullying because I was fat. I am not traumatized. All I know is this is where it began. This is where I started constructing my shield. My shield was composed of “white lies” and half-truths that followed me into adulthood. When I reached my late 20’s I did not know my core values, which made living with integrity very difficult, if not impossible. I was showing the world what it wanted to see. Unfortunately, I had been telling this story for so long, reinforcing my shield to deflect cruel words or actions hurled toward me, that I do not think my authentic self had a fighting chance unless someone cracked the shield, thereby undoing all the damage I had done to myself and to those close to me.
So someone did.
It would be easy to say the moment the shield cracked my story changed. Not even close.
I had been telling so many stories that it took months, if not a couple years, to unravel the sticky web. I am finally to a point where I am comfortable admitting my mistakes, taking ownership of my actions, and making sure the story I’m creating in my head reflects the story that is happening. In every situation I make the conscious attempt to represent my most authentic self.
What does this have to do with identity? Identity is confusing to me. It’s latin roots say “identical” or “same”, but synonyms use words like “uniqueness”. All I know is when you wrap personal identity around fitting in versus being, you tend to morph into the thing easiest to hide behind. Your shield. Personally, I am done hiding.
Let me know if you can relate to my story. <3
My goal with blogging was to make it daily. Truth be told, I don't have something to say every day. Those who live with me would say otherwise and serve me a steaming mug of "shut up", but expressing my point of view on things is exhausting. My job is very interactive so once in a while things get powered down.
This quiet time on my blog has nothing to do with steaming mugs of anything. These quiet blogging moments have everything to do with a side hustle I've been working on for the past few weeks, and it won't be ready until at least June. I'm excited about it though!
What are some things you can look for?
Daily Call to Actions (my daily roasts will be more than just my thoughts; I want to hear your thoughts!)
Business Tips and Tricks
Community and Culture Building
Working with small businesses (locally) to create products I love to give to you!
And much more.
Why am I going this route? Because as much as I try to separate myself from FitPOWER, I still exist in the business. So no matter what gym you go to, where you are in life, or where you are in the world, if there is anything I have ever said or done or suggested that has helped you, I am hoping to provide these items for you to use in your daily life.
With that said I hope you stay with me in blog-land and on social media. Keep looking for updates!
Thoughts on Vacation Coffee
The world is brighter, the moments sweeter, and the coffee bolder while on vacation. Vacation coffee is the slowness of the morning before the world wakes up. It is the smell of your favorite roast and the rustling of crisp pages turning in a book.